So I found a tick on myself a while back. Now, I find ticks on me all the time, due to the large amount of time I spend outdoors, but I always catch them before they embed themselves under my skin. This tick however, was quite the sneak. When I found it, I honestly thought I had grown a mole and so seeked an alternative opinion from my mother. She told me to ask the nurse and so later that day I did.
The nurse pulled out various 20-50 looking utensils, studied it with close eyes, before quickly snapping her head back and exclaiming an excited “Yep!” I look at her curiously. “It’s a tick,” she says. The boy sitting in a chair nearby echoed my very conscience “ha, that sucks!” (This boy was Fred Sherman) “But, how could you tell it was a tick?” She said when she held up her future-fork to the wannabe mole that she could clearly see the head and legs, happily sucking blood like the vamp-tramp it was.
Amongst all of the medical technologies available in todays society, there is nothing more wholesome and innovative than the removing of a tick: the tweeze fuck. A tiny metal and sometimes sharp utensil is inserted around the culprit and infected wound, where it is then twisted and deeply bored until all eight of the tiny prick’s hands release. Except, this tick held on so tight that instead of letting go, it was pulled to pieces, and so thusly, still have a hand within me as I speak. Wholesome and innovative!! Yikes, it stung like a bad fuck and I bleed the tears of thousand pregnant teenagers, but collectivley, was worth it. I am not typically the best host, according to my friends, and this reaffirms that.
The nurse said to get a lime test, be weary of the “circle of death”, and that if I should look for symptoms within the next 6-8 weeks. In 6-8 weeks my sumer will be nearing the end. Let’s say by september I am actually diagnosed - as all of my friends ship off to college, I’ll be shipped off in a casket. One can only anti-hope. I am three silly steps away from graduating. I am have to take just three finals and then I am officially free. Today was test number one, and I was forced to stay home sick with what mom says could be possible flu symptoms. It has been a whole 6-8 days since I found the tick. To be honest, I don’t feel all that sick, but I definitely feel shitty and deemed it necessary to spend the day resting - hence I am on Tumblr.
Let’s say I am infected by some disease, whether tick oriented or not, and I perish. I am an outdoor enthusiast, I believe in life just as much as I believe in death, for my human philosophy is modeled on the natural systems that I observe around me, and so the irony would kill me.
For the record, why are farts infinitely more disgusting smelling when you have some illness? What the fuck is happening down there that makes your gas turn into Gollum’s vaporized hot-pocket vomit? Have mercy on me.
